LOVE SCARS | Chapter 4 Predator vs Prey

 Later that afternoon, when the house was enveloped in a tender silence. The nuance of sound failed to penetrate my familiar corner of ecstasy. No outsider's perturbation to break the spell of papa.

He dug his nails into my back. The ringlets are a mix of reminder and reward as his grasping hands brand my back. It was to be anticipated that sex follows all aspects of our dynamic. The amphetamine-like high of fucking him was followed by the thick whip of pain. How his ass clenched around my dick felt like an asylum with the warmth of him, both my place of refuge and madness. I threw my head back as soft groans exacerbated me. I hit his prostate repeatedly until he was an undone wreck beneath me.

"Shit, Tesoro." My papa grunted out. "Fuck me with some class, will you?"

I rolled my eyes and ignored him. My thrusting picked up quickly the closer I felt myself about to bust.

"Do you enjoy being fucked by your son, Papa?" I grabbed his face-making him look at me. His eyes were watery as he let out desperate whimpers. My wandering hands rose to his stomach pinning him down for better access. He bucks his hips up during every slow stroke and falls breathless during higher paces.

"Y-Yes, Tesoro I do." he cries out when I thrust into him with deliberate force.

"I'm a good boy, right papa?"

"Yes, my Tesoro, you are. A very good boy indeed."

He grabs my face pulling me down towards his. His lips meet mine with urgency. I slip my tongue into his mouth and swallow his moans. My dick twitches inside him. Papa liked the intimacy of a kiss during sex, but right now, I had other things on my mind. I broke the kiss. And In one swift motion, I flip him over with my dick still inside him. I grab his arms holding them behind his back.

Just like a good fuck sleeve, he arches his back. My balls tighten as this warm feeling spreads throughout me. I chased that feeling as the harsh sound of slapping skin fills the room. Something deep within my abdomen pulls tight. I picked up the pace as the warmth of jagged breath fanned his face.

"S-Slow down Tesoro." He said. His normally demanding bravado was reduced to beg.

"Just be a good fuck sleeve and take my dick the way I give it to you, mmm?"

My head is hazy with only one goal. I let go of his hands and pulled him up straighter. My dick buried deep in his ass, my better judgment acknowledging a softer course of action.

"Please cum for me, Papa," I said beside his ear. My voice morphed into that of my younger self. Gone was the pretty arrogance he'd normally love to be overshadowed by the admiration held by my past self.

As though a switch flipped, his whole body shakes. His back arches as ropes of semen leave his body. I thrust up, hitting his over-sensitive prostate. There was this pleasurable pumping feeling, my muscles contracting as I shot a load into him. His ass is milking me for every bit of cum.

"You've gotten too sloppy," Papa said. His hands pushed me away as though my body was a used tampon. Something to be utilized and then discarded with disgust. I drop onto the bed, my body being met with the plush mattress.

"You don't like it rough anymore?" I asked. "Being fucked into submission was a thing of yours. What changed?"

Papa says nothing for a minute, opting to just lay there. I turned on my side looking up at him in question. His chest slowly rises and falls with each breath. He never really says much after sex preserving to bathe in the euphotic rush he was coming down from.

He sighed and said, "I'm getting old."

I scoot over to him-hand hesitantly moving to his chest. Papa stared up at the ceiling with every muscle in his face relaxing. I could tell he was lost in thought about something from the way the bottom lip found itself tucked in his mouth. I bring my hand to his face letting my calloused fingers stroke his cheek.

His age was this feral thing we danced around. He'd always made it a point to discuss things like life insurance and wills with Lucas knowing he'd get nothing but a childish refusal if he were to bring it up to me. If any doctor's appointments weren't met with glowing reviews, he'd hand the information down to Lora, hoping she'll be able to pick an effective way to explain it to me. She was never good at sugar-coating things going for the worst-case scenario than bringing me back to reality.

Papa placed his hand on mine, turning his face towards me. "You don't want to keep fucking an old man, do you, Tesoro?" He said, a bitter laugh soon followed.

I smiled at my papa leaning down to kiss his forehead and pulling away. "Hush, okay? I'll go run us a warm bath."

The water is warm, with the fragrance of sandalwood mingling in. There were foam bubbles on the surface hiding our naked bodies as we settled in. Papa sat between my legs-my head resting on his shoulder for a second before I tilted my head back, eyes closed, feeling Papa's wet fingers play with mine.

"You know it's going to happen one day, Tesoro?" Papa's voice was low and uneven.

"What is?"

"Me dying." His words made my body tense up and pulled him closer to me.

He feels this and softly says, "Relax, Tesoro."

Concerning his command, I try to relax my stiff body by opening my eyes and lifting my head from the tile wall. I leaned forward kissing my papa's shoulder. "Can we not talk about this?"

Life moved quickly and so did death. One minute you're here and the next you're not. Death is waiting, lingering near at any given chance to take him. I told myself that like most of the harsh realities of life, I could just pretend this wasn't real. By the time death was pounding on the door, biologists had found a way to stop the effects of aging. It was a mantra I told myself whenever his health was in question.

Though here he is ready to leave me. Accepting death as it is. As if abandoning was some sort of escape instead of a tragic phenomenon. This sets off something in me-my arms moving in the water wrapping themselves around my Papa's waist. I hid my face on the side of his neck. Perhaps if I hold on a little tighter, life will understand my steadfast need.

"I'll die one day. Let's not act like I'm immortal and will exist forever."

My voice held a futile conviction. "You will."

"It's normal for a child to not want their parents to die," he said. As though he was trying to discern the intensity of my rigid denial.

"You're more than my papa or my lover. Either title did not confine the way I feel about you." Was on the tip of my tongue but I knew he'd laugh or denounce me. Neither of which would do more harm than good.

Silence falls over us. Papa's damp fingers crept over my arm using his fingertips to draw abstract pictures. Still, my face stays hidden in the side of his neck. For a little while, I wanted to stay like this-Too afraid that if I let him go, he'll be snatched away from me.

"Death is a good thing."

"No, it isn't, Papa."

"It is."

"No one says that."

"Well, it's still true."

"Stop with the fucking death talk!" My voice bounced off the tile walls. His body spun around as he used one to pin me to the tile wall by my throat and the other repeatedly slapped me. He went on his rant about the lack of respect I'd been showing him. It wasn't the slapping that left a hollow burn. It was my guilt for driving him to the action in the first place.

Once he was satisfied with the harsh red hand mark across my face, he removed his hand from my throat. As he rose from the tub, he snatched a towel-leaving little more than the thud of the slammed door behind him. I sunk into the tub staring at nothingness. My cheek throbbed as I replayed the scene in my head. How would he spin the whole thing this time? Would he say it never happened or go his favorite route: "Disrespectful children don't get abused? If anything, I'm the fucking victim for having to put up with you."

The water had grown cold by the time I had come to the present. When I walked into papa's room, he was sitting on the edge of his bed-dressed in casual clothing. He doesn't say a word, gets up from his bed, and walks over to his dresser.

"Papa, I'm sorry for raising my voice at you."I stood there feeling like I'm ten years old all over again. My head lowered in shame with eyes searching for approval.

"Your clingy behavior..." Papa started with his back to me. "It's a bit disgusting, don't you think?"

I swallowed thickly. "I-It won't happen again."

"Ever since your mother left us, you've always been this clingy little thing," he said. "I'm starting to think you only want me because of her."

I balled my fist at my sides- my fingernails break into the skin. The pain feels grounding as the memories refuse to swallow themselves down. Years of grey-hued affection threaten to crawl into my skin. Why would he bring her up?

"This has nothing to do with her," I said calmly. Don't take the bait. Papa turns away from his dresser, putting on his Rolex while he walks over to me.

"Then why are you so clingy?"

"Because I need you."

Papa smiled. "Because you need me? How cute."

"Papa."

"Papa." He mocks. The term of endearment sounded wretched in his mouth. "You don't need me. If I die right now, you'll have Theo and Lucas."

I closed in the space between us. I'm hesitant at first to put my arms around him and when papa sees this, he sighs and steps away from me, taking a seat on the edge of his bed.

"I hate clinginess," he said. "It's suffocating and overbearing."

His words were the steady thump of a death march. A sadistic pleasure only the darkest men enjoyed. Beat them into submission or watch their withering bodies fall like flies. Starve them because you love being the only hand that feeds. Poison their minds so that on their bleakest nights, you have the elixir to cure all ills. His only principle: "If you know your subjects can't be made to love you, then you must make them fear you. Both are effective when it comes to keeping your rule." He applied it to everything from business to marriage. I knew better-I knew when to stand down from him-When to keep my mouth shut.

"It won't happen again-"

"You're like a leech sucking up everything until there is nothing left," he said. Then he smiled.

I spare a look his way. "You're a selfish man. You're as lifeless as the day I was born."

"Am I?" Papa perks up. "Now I see why your mother might have left. With an ignorant little boy with no redeeming qualities. I remember her telling me she didn't want to be pulled down by you for the rest of her life. You'll only do the same to your brothers. That's if they don't leave you first. There's nothing loveable about you, my Tesoro."

By now I should be used to this biological order of the food chain. Him the predator and I the prey. He liked playing around with me before he pounced, sinking his teeth into me.

"Why are you just standing there like that, Tesoro? Did I say something hurtful?"