LOVE SCARS | Chapter 7 Birthday getaway

 Being in a place like this made me feel like a dad in the tampon aisle. Theodore fell into this place seamlessly, going through each shelf with steadfast determination. The walls were lined with games and every kind of system. Each section was divided by genre and age demographic. When I was Theo's age, I never picked up a video game preserving rolled-up dollar bills and doing lines of coke off some hooker's ass. Comparing my youth to Theodore's was like comparing water to oil. 

How Lucas and I lived our younger days would put the devil to shame. We became the main reason our father kept a firm hand on Theodore, keeping him as sheltered as possible for as long as possible, ethics be damned. The poor kid had to live the way our papa wanted Lucas and me too. Once he realized he couldn't get us to abide by his rules, he became fixated on getting Theodore to. Sorry, Theo, you have to deal with a bitter old man like our father.

"What kind of game is Resident Evil?" I asked, leaning my shoulder against Theo's as I stared at the game he was holding.

"Hmm, basically it's a game mixed with horror, grounded in sci-fi and mystery."

"You're into horror and sci-fi?"

At first, I wasn't because I didn't think I would be into things like horror or even sci-fi, with my sensitivity to violence and all, but thanks to Hadrian, I'm addicted."

A new layer of Theodore was peeled away.

"This, Hadrian, young man. He's your friend, right? "

"Yeah! You'll get to meet him this afternoon. He's more excited about my birthday than I am. " Theodore laughed.

I never recalled Theodore ever being excited about a single birthday he had—Our Papa always made Theodore's birthday party into a grand occasion. I remember the time Theodore was five. He asked our papa for a circus theme party, but instead, he got something that was straight out of the pages of The Great Gatsby. Maybe then, and there, that's when Theodore realized he could never truly have anything he wanted—that what he had to want was what our papa wanted, and if it wasn't anything our papa wanted—you could forget it.

Though Theodore has a comfortable life, I know some aspects of it must be uncomfortable—and so unbearable, especially with a parent like ours.

"Are you going to play games with us?" Theodore asked as he moved down to another shelf of games. He grabbed something called Dead By Daylight 4. Just from the case cover alone, I could tell it was a horror game.

"I'm a little too old to be playing video games," I said.

"People your age play video games."

Yeah, who doesn't have anything going for them? They live out of their parent's basement. Married to their body pillow, that's some hot cartoon chick. "

Theodore snorts, dropping the game into the carry cart. "Jeez, prince."

"What?" I laughed. "I'm only saying, Bambino."

He shakes his head, smiling. And I like this. When I was able to get him to smile so easily, his smile was innocent—it had not yet discovered the evil of the world that waited for kids like Theodore to find it like a buried treasure. As his older brother and his protector, I'd do anything to keep his smile that way. But I knew Theodore would want to venture out, to explore every inch of that world until there was no place left to explore. He'll be away from me, and away from the familiarity of home. I needed to face it that Theodore wasn't meant to stay grounded in one place. Once he can run, he isn't going to look back. And I feared his going away. I had replayed his actions in my head numerous times, but there was never an ending I liked because he never says goodbye.

The presidential suite was ready when we arrived. Lucas even had balloons floating around and a birthday banner that hung at the entranceway of the door. I made a mental note to text him later on. Theodore and his friend were going to share a room, and I was taking the room on the other side of the suite. Theodore was in the living area of the suite getting things set up for once his friend got here, they could start gaming. I was unpacking my overnight bag. I had to sneak out of Papa's room early this morning to pack it and put it in my car. My phone rings as I'm putting my clothes on the dresser. I walked over to the bed and grabbed my phone. Lora is calling.

"Hello, beautiful," I said as soon as answered her call.

"Prince, you better have a good reason why you lied to your father." She said.

So he called Lora behind my back?

I sat down on the bed. "Something came up that I needed to take care of."

"So you lied to him? To what have him call me and ask why I called you for a job that would require you to be gone for three days?And that you will be missing Theodore's birthday party. "

"What did you tell him?" I asked.

"I was caught off guard. So I told him I didn't know anything about a Job." Lora said.

Fuck.

"Lora." I groaned into the phone. " I paid you good money and you couldn't just lie just once?"

"Your father scares me, Prince. He's the devil in human form," she said.

"Call him back and tell him you forgot."

"Prince." She whines into the phone. "Don't make me call him."

"I'll take you shopping."

"Any store I like without a no-limit free for all?'

"Yes, Lora."

She squeals loudly. I pulled my phone away from my ear, waiting for her to get done.

As I returned my phone to my ear, I heard her say. " By the way, where are you?"

"Somewhere minding my business. The less you know, my papa won't kill you." I said.

"Y-Yeah you're right. Well bye, and wherever you are safe, okay?"

"Okay. Bye, beautiful." I ended the call.

I was in the kitchen fixing a drink. Theodore has music going. Different music. Not the dead man's music that was Mozart or Beethoven that I usually hear him listen to. The lyrics to this song are sexual and I doubt if Theodore understood the meaning behind them—if there was even one. Over the music, I could hear Theodore in the living area singing the lyrics word for word.

I'm a sex addict baby just let me have a little taste of what's in between your legs. Don't be a bitch I hate to beg so just go ahead and spread your legs.

Be a good girl. Be a good girl. how your daddy taught you to be. get on your knees and worship me. Oh, Oh, Oh, Julia Julia Julia, use your tongue on me.

"Interesting song," I said, entering the living area and taking a seat on the sectional couch. Theodore was laying on part of the sectional. "I didn't expect this sort of music to be your thing."

"At first it wasn't," Theodore said. Grabs the remote from beside him and pauses the screen. "But Hadrian has introduced me to all sorts of music. And I find that I enjoy songs like this."

The second layer of Theodore peeled away.

"Are you two close?" I take a sip of my scotch.

Theodore flips the remote in his hand. He thinks before he speaks. When he does speak he says something like, "Close enough that I can tell him just about anything."

And what is it that you tell him? I wanted to ask. But I knew there were lines I could and couldn't cross with Theodore. Like this being one of them I shouldn't cross. Because whatever he told his friend was just between the two of them and not a third party.

"Prince, can I ask you something?" Theodore sits down at the remote. He makes his way from one end of the sectional to the other so he's close to me. He still had on his school uniform, without the blazer and necktie. Theodore's white button-down shirt had four buttons undone; exposing his chest just a little.

"Sure."

He does his usual thing—abusing his bottom lip.

"Bambino." I gave a stern warning. His lips leave his mouth. "Now what is it you want to ask me?"

"This may sound s-silly even dumb. But have you ever had a crush on anyone?"

"No."

"Not ever?"

"Yeah."

Theodore takes in a big breath before saying anything else. "I...uh I have a crush on someone."

The third layer of Theodore peeled away.

"A crush?" I asked. It left a bitter taste in my mouth.

Theodore nodded with a slight smile.

Of course, he would have a crush on someone. He is still young. So having a crush is a normal thing. Childish in a sense yet there was something so innocent behind it—that it shouldn't be touched. Yet I wanted to touch it—to know what it felt like to harbor such innocent feelings for someone. The intentions are only pure when it comes to a thing like this.

But I couldn't help but want to ruin any of that pureness, and any of that innocence that hides underneath the soft white underbelly of all things good.

"But I think he likes someone else," Theodore said each word carefully. His smile was reduced to nothing.

"And why do you think that?" I asked.

"I saw him kissing someone else," Theodore said. "Like, they had kissed as though they were lovers for a long time but tried to hide it behind something it wasn't."

"How does that make you feel? You know seeing your crush be like that with someone else."

Theodore signs. His shoulders dropped. "frustrated, mixed with anger, mixed with hate. With jealousy being its core. These feelings don't feel like mine at all. They're like someone else's feelings that I'm borrowing."

The fourth layer of Theodore peeled away.

"Bambino, those feelings you have are a normal response," I said.

Theodore plays with his fingers. "Normal, huh?"

"Yes, Bambino."

"D-Do you remember when we kissed?" He asked so suddenly.

Nothing I could ever forget. How it was clumsy. How premature and sloppy it had been.

"Of course, Bambino."

"I want to practice again." He hits his hand on the couch cushions, leaning forward a bit. "Because I need to win over my crush."

'And what if you can't win him over?" I teased a bit.

Theodore rocks back a little as he speaks. "I'll die."

I chuckled, saying, "You won't, Bambino."

"I would, Prince."

"Dramatic much, Bambino?"

"Maybe just a little." Theodore laughed which soon followed a soft sigh. "I just want him to have eyes only for me, you know?"

There was a heaviness in his words. I felt the weight in them. I sat my glass on the floor and moved closer to him on the sectional. I patted my lap for him. He straddles me, resting his hands on my shoulder.

"Tell me, Bambino, what do you envision when you think of kissing your crush?" I asked. The gears turned in his head. Theodore's cheeks flooded with color. He grips my shoulder a little tighter. I let my hands rest on his slender waist.

"Sparks?" He asked with a little laugh. "I envision. Something like a firework show we kiss!"

"And what do you think this kiss may feel like?" I gave his waist a light squeeze and smiled at him.

He tilts his head to one side. "I can't put it into words."

"Then show me, Yeah?"

"Show y-you?"

"You said you wanted to practice, right? So use this as an opportunity to show me what this kiss would feel like."

THEODORE

show you... The heat crept its way up my neck, spreading to my face. I might have looked like a tomato in my brother's eyes. I grip his shoulder tighter—The intense stare between us made me look away first. "I...I can't."

"We kissed before. So it wouldn't be any different, Bambino." Prince said. He's right it wouldn't be any

different but recalling the kiss we had I got an E for effort. It was only me being self-conscious. How did I amount to Prince in the kissing field? He's probably kissed more people than I could count on my hands and toes. He's more experienced in a lot of things that I can only dream of doing.

"Close your eyes," I said. Prince closed his eyes. It's just a kiss. Lips to lips that'd exploded into something much deeper, maybe even meaningful. I grip his shoulders tighter. I let my body relax against his.

I stared at his lips. One thing that was a rule that was drilled into me from many spankings as a young child. That you never touched anything that belonged to Papa.

I smashed my lips against Prince's without thinking how I was supposed to show him how I wanted to kiss my crush. It's messy, it's territorial how'd I kiss him. For once in my life, I wanted something that was mine. How do I make you completely mine?

I bite down on Prince's lip, drawing blood. He hissed, pulling away from me. His hand goes up to his bottom lip, touching the blood pooling to the surface. "Damnit, Bambino."

"I showed you," I murmur.

He sighs, reaching to ruffle my hair. "And you did. You're greedy, try not to be greedy with him okay, my Bambino?"

I nodded. I was only hungry for love—and If it meant stealing it to feed my hunger I would.